A life lived in fear is a life half lived

I have really debated writing this post, because I don´t want anyone to freak out. But I think it´s important to be honest about my travels, and the realities therein.

Today I was sort of attacked and robbed. I am totally ok! I was really lucky, these guys apparently were not willing to hurt anyone.

Here´s the story. I met this lovely girl at the hostel, Marianne. This morning we went by the bus terminal to buy some tickets to our respective next destinations. We went to Museo de Arte Moderno, which was the most disappointing museum I´ve ever been to. We wandered around for a bit looking for a good place for lunch, which we found. A really delightful pizza place called MonaPizza, in a lovely neighborhood. I had jugo de Mora which was, as always, delicious. Next on our itinerary was Monserrate, a church on the top of a mountain which is supposed to give you a great view of Bogota. Well, the cable cars at the foot of the mountain don´t look far on the map, so we figure we´ll just walk there rather than pay a taxi. We were walking through a neighborhood which I honestly did not feel the least sketchy about. There were kids playing in the street, a family washing their car. There were people around, you know? I hear footsteps running up behind me and still, I think nothing of it. My hackles are not raised. But suddenly there´s 3 guys, maybe 19 or 20 years old, yanking off our backpacks. Marianne did the smart and correct thing, and just gave them her backpack. Well, my backpack has one of those buckles that you buckle across your chest. I always assumed they were to help relieve the strain from your shoulders, but it turns out they´re pretty good anti-theft devices as well.

I was completely stupid. Even though there was that buckle thing going on, I was completely stubborn and could feel myself refusing to give in to this situation. I mean, incidents like this happen quickly. There isn´t so much a thought process happening as a series of instincts firing. Retrospectively, I can identify that my instincts didn´t see these guys waving weapons, so if they weren´t even using them to scare me into giving in I didn´t think they would use them on me. Also, there were so many people around, surely if I start screaming someone will come to my rescue. So I screamed and screamed and screamed. I let this guy yank me off balance so I was on the ground, dead weight being the most difficult to move. It was also a passive way to fight back, as obviously aggressively fighting back is the absolute stupidest thing I could do. My buckle finally broke. I kept screaming and screaming. It felt like a long time to struggle. Nobody came to my rescue. But he did finally give up and run off.

I am relieved I still have my camera, my glasses and contacts, and my iPhone. I am concerned I behaved so stupidly and didn´t just give the guy my bag. I may not be so lucky next time, you know?

I am more hurt by the fact that everyone on the street just watched that robbery happen, and didn´t even approach us afterward to see if we were ok, than by these guys actually robbing us. Colombianos are the nicest collective group of people I´ve ever met. Their reputation preceded them, and I´ve traveled through a bunch of countries now which also had wonderfully nice people, but the Colombianos exceeded expectation. They not only give you a direction, they ask about where you are going, why you are going, what you should do when you get there. When they see you struggling with the language they step right up and translate for you. If they´ve just met you, they hug and kiss you when you leave like you´ve been friends for three years. When they greet you in a cafe, they really seem to mean it. The warmth radiates from their eyes and smiles. They are SO HAPPY to have tourists coming through the country. I don´t know how or why this society has evolved such a lovely people, but the rest of the world could learn from them. They go above and beyond regularly, and with apparent pleasure. My instincts had a lot of faith in those Colombianos on that street.

I guess the idea is to just give in. I don´t know. I guess they had their reasons.

I flagged down the next taxi that passed and got the hell out of there. I`ll be taking more taxis from now on, I guess. And leaving my camera in a locker at my hostel. So long resolution to take more pictures.

Whatever prayers you all are saying for me are working, I guess. I am none the worse for wear. Just shaken up.

Monserrate was a little overshadowed by the experience.

When we got back to the hostel, I headed down the street to that cafe I enjoyed so much yesterday. Cafes are some of my favorite places in the world. They have a very soothing, comforting, calming effect on me, so I sat down with some hot chocolate and a book. 20 minutes in, I felt a warm hand on my arm. The woman who had just sat down next to me wanted to know if she should order downstairs, at the counter, or upstairs where we were. When she realizes I don´t speak much Spanish she seems delighted to talk in English. She seems delighted to be talking with me period. I give her what information I know, and then her companion goes down to order. She is astonished that I am traveling alone, and continues to ask about my travels, where I´ve been, what I think of Bogota, what had I expected of it and how did it live up to those expectations? Her companion presently returns with the bad news that this cafe does not, in fact, serve coffee. Well, clearly she must go elsewhere because coffee is the only thing to have, but she immediately turns to me while opening up her purse, exclaiming that I must have her phone number so I can call her if I need anything. I had been speaking with this woman for only a few minutes, and here she is offering herself and anything she can do for me. And it is overwhelming how genuine the offer is. Her warmth and kindness almost brought me to tears.

That robbery was obviously a very frightening, unpleasant experience for me. But it´s important not to judge an entire country, an entire society, on the actions of the minority. The reality has certainly set in at this point the risk I take as I travel, if I hadn´t quite realized it before. But it´s also plain to me how much this traveling has to offer as well. When do the cons outweigh the pros? When does the risk become too great? The fact is, yes, something worse could have happened today. Something worse could have happened a month ago. It could happen a month from now. But I don´t know. Nobody knows. All I can do is learn from my experience, and be ever yet more wary.

I am sorry, I know it must be worse to be reading this from afar, imagining awful things lurking around every corner from me. All I can say is I am vigilant. I am careful. I am confident that even if I am robbed of every possession, I will be safe. I would not be here if I weren´t confident in that. I´m not that stupid.